#Momlife

Coping..

Jeena

Everyone has different experiences, but having a miscarriage is one of most devastating things to have to go through. My emotions were all over the place, and I was feeling alone and at times the feeling of grief was inconsolable and overwhelming!

I think it is assumed by many that once you have a child after your miscarriage, you forget. I wrote this title as “Coping”, because in reality I don’t think you ever get over our miscarriage.

How did I cope and handle my miscarriage? Initially I had a hard time, and as usual closed off all my emotions and wasn’t able to deal well with what happened. Even though I knew in my head that it wasn’t our fault, my heart could not accept it. I just kept going over and over about what happened. Asking myself, did I do something wrong? Is something wrong with me? My body?  I think it was worse for me because I didn’t speak to anyone about it or acknowledge what happened – but kept asking myself these questions and crying through the night. This went on for a few months.   I just couldn’t deal with the situation, and it was like I was expected to forget and start trying to have another baby immediately.

So how did I cope and learn to deal with the miscarriage?

  1. I finally acknowledged that what happened was not my fault and there was nothing that I could have done to prevented it.
  2. I spoke to people about how I was feeling and realized that so many others have gone through the same thing I did.
  3. I started speaking to The Husband about my feelings.

I just wanted to use this platform and speak to those who are going through this situation right now. The most important thing is TALK to somebody about your feelings. Don’t be scared or feel like something is wrong with you if this has happened to you. I haven’t ever forgotten and I don’t think I ever will. I might not think about it everyday, but I still have moments of sadness, but then I look at my baby girl and immediately a smile comes to my face. I can’t help but be thankful and praise God every single day for the little miracle that was born.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Published by Jeena

14 thoughts on “Coping..”

  2. I love that you are writing about such personal things that people often shy away from mentioning on public platforms. It’s wonderful because 1. People like me who haven’t had these experiences can learn firsthand about these things and 2. People out there who are experiencing miscarriages and loss know that they are not alone. Too often blogs and social media show just highlights of lives and not the nitty gritty. Your posts go beyond that which is what keeps me intrigued 💜 Keep sharing and stay strong!

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    1. Thank you so much for the encouraging words! I was debating whether to post this or not. This was sitting in my drafts for over a week, but then decided to post and I’m glad I did! ❤

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  3. I’m so sorry for your loss 💖 you’re right you never do forget!

    I have to say I 100% agree about talking. I don’t think many know how to open up about miscarriage and having been through a miscarriage at 19 weeks I felt like no one actually cared until I started speaking to others and realized how many people go through the same.
    Such a shame that it’s still a taboo but hopefully people will begin to speak out more 💖

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    1. It’s sad how in the year 2017 a miscarriage is still something not talked about and people feel ashamed about discussing it, but we as women need to rally together and help our fellow sisters!

      I am so sorry to hear about your miscarriage at 19 weeks! While I was pregnant with my current daughter, my whole pregnancy was fear of losing her. Did you go through that?

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      1. Yesss I totally agree we should! I really wish women never suffered in silence 😢

        You know I haven’t been pregnant since losing my son but I’m so scared of falling pregnant again and you know I was so cautious the first time, so I’m just dreading how scared I will be the second time! How did you handle your pregnancy??

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      2. I’ve realized that if a miscarriage is going to happen it will happen and there is nothing we can do about it. I think for you it was different also since you were almost at your second trimester and you lost your son. You carried him for so much longer and even found out the sex! One of my good friends also miscarried at 5 months, she went through such a terrible time afterwards… She even switched jobs because she just couldn’t deal with seeing the same people! Now she has a 22 month old girl! ❤ I will ask her about how she dealt with her second pregnancy…

        For me, I did all normal things – but then till my girl was in my hands I had a fear of a miscarriage! I was constantly worried – but thankfully the 2nd time I had a normal pregnancy. We even traveled to the US 2 times and I didn't have any issues!

        I hope this encourages you in some way ❤

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      3. I honestly do believe that you can’t stop it – can you believe in my 19 weeks of pregnancy I had more ultrasounds than a normal pregnancy and that is just because I was cautious to fly being pregnant! Everything showed up perfect in the scan so I definitely believe you can’t predict these things sadly!

        Your little princess does give me so much hope though and it does push me to want to try so thank you 💗

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  4. Oh wow. It’s incredible to see your courage in sharing your feelings in black and white. I’ve gone through a similar experience but only shared it vocally with my husband and people I am really close to.
    This blog brought memories to me and as u wrote one (especially a woman) can never forget her miscarriage/s. Praise God for your baby, a blessing who brings joy in your life.
    The learning points from your experience is very encouraging. I plan to share this with someone going through a similar experience.

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